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Posted On: July 13, 2011
Posted By: CHELLEY
Comments: No Responses

The case of the Ex is a touchy subject. Whether it?s a boyfriend/girlfriend or a best friend, when a relationship ends its usually not on the best of terms. After a big fight and both parties have had the chance to calm down, you can?t help but wonder if you should rekindle that broken friendship/relationship. So what happens at this point? Depending on how the relationship ended is usually where you can figure out if it?s even worth getting back together. Lets look at the type of relationships, pros, cons, and if going back to memory lane is even worth it.

Friendships are the most important relationship that one can have. These are the individuals that help you escape or just vent on family, work, or relationship issues. It is vital to have someone that understands you without any judgment. So why do friendships end to begin with? Friendships may end simply because of the situations the friends are into or even the friends themselves may change. ?For example, one friend may relocate for higher studies or a better job and the new change may affect the friendship. Another significant reason that friendships often end is because one friend may think the next friend has changed. One friend might change social circles, become involved in new social organizations, start to date, or take on some other venture that consumes more time and passion.?And you know what they say,?Birds of a feather flock together. However I think it hurts less when both friends change (also known as growing apart) because then the ?breakup? is mutual and both individuals get closure by deciding to let go and move forward in their own lives. And then you have the typical sad story of a friendship ending because of ?a misunderstanding, a disagreement, maybe some corny ass he-say-she-say mess (although I hope high school has long ended for many of you) or an act of betrayal. Well?if they really did betray you, you probably shouldn?t consider rekindling THAT relationship, but for the most part if you really did care about that particular friend, think it through carefully before completely dismissing them. ?After all in this economy, a good friend is really hard to find.

Boyfriend/girlfriend relationships are a whole different ball game. Being in a relationship is an amazing feeling. This is the person that shares intimate moments (not just physical) with you that no one else will. He/or she may be your potential spouse that you want to start a family with. Unfortunately, all the love and passion you have for one another may not be enough to sustain the relationship. For most people, the cause of breakups is trust, consistency, and life obstacles. Trust is the big kicker. When that is thrown out the window, it is always hard to build back that foundation. It also dissolves communication, which is THE VITAL factor in any relationship. Follow that lost of trust with inconsistency; when he or she says their going to do something or not do something any more, we expect them to actually mean it and follow through accordingly. And when their word holds no value, there becomes a lack of high regard and respect for that individual. So if you can?t be a person of your word, PLEASE SHUT UP,or?at least?stop lying to people?I?m just saying.

Life obstacles are an important factor as well; sometimes-unexpected things happen in our lives to where we have no control. This is the stage in the relationship that will determine how strong the love really is. For example if your boyfriend finds out that he has a child from a past relationship or if your girlfriend has to take on a full time job of taking care of a loved one that can no longer take care of his or her self. This can be a toll that no one wants to deal with.

Take a look at some pros and cons (from left to right respectively) that most people have told me they thought about before jumping back into an old relationship:

1. I love him/her ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 1. We fight a lot

2. I can tell him/or her anything ? ? ? ?2. Distance

3. I feel safe with them ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?3. I don?t trust them

4. Amazing sex (for relationship) ? ? ? 4. Lack of communication

5. Same sense of humor ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 5. He/she left me for their ex

6. We have a lot in common ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 6. He/she family doesn?t approve

7. More good times than bad times ? ? ?7. You can honestly live without them

8. 1st offense (people make mistakes) ? 8. Reoccuring offense (they does this ***** all the time!)

It all comes down to what you want, and what you find to be important in a relationship, whether romantic or platonic. As the years go by we all change for the better or worse. And some changes can really out grow a relationship or friendship. Whether the relationship/friendship ended on good or bad terms, the key point it to realize it did end. You need to figure out if all the great times shared overshadowed the not so great times. And if you decide its best to keep it pushing, thats great too. If hard feelings cannot be resolved, take it as a lesson learned and use that negative experience to inspire positive future relationships in your life???

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Source: http://lavishexposure.com/the-ex-files-should-we-go-back/

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